Decide for yourself!

Hey everyone, sorry about the lack of updates. I need to give a shout out to Connie, who, armed with guilt, believes (correctly) she deserves mention in my birthday EXTRAVAGANZA. I was blacked out okay? Sorry! ...oh, and thanks for the drinks.

New layout. You like?

I've been trying to write something candid and witty like my Anonymous Messages post but something always comes up that makes me change my mind. I suppose there is such a thing as being too candid. My three attempts all came out whiny, pretentious, and here's the bottom line: not good. I'm hoping that this one won't go the way of the dinosaur. I was trying to write the sibling post, the brain child's twin, if you will. I had gotten several responses to that post and I wanted to try and address them which I soon realized wouldn't work. Which brings me to my point:

Why Would Anyone Go Out With Me Anyway?

First off, I'm poor. I'm what is considered "Near Poor". I reside just over the poverty line for one person. Because I'm over, I can afford the following:

1. A Car.
2. Insurance for said Car.
3. Cellphone.
4. Negotiable Quanities of Alcohol.
   

You'll notice this list does not include 'Girlfriend'. So while I may be able to take you out to dinner, I'd rather just cook it. I may be able to take you to the movies, but you should just rent one. Don't expect material manifestations of my feelings for you, because I have no money. Writing you a poem is my highest form of compliment so if you think I'm cheap you're right.

Secondly, I live at home. I may have the freedoms of any other adult: I can have a girl in my bed overnight and stay at a girl's house... but you better not wake my parents!

Third, I'm a jerk. That's right, I said it. The awful things I've done by no means compensate for the good things. Just ask "Laini" how I treated her but she always came back, or ask "Vana" the mean things I said to her but she still talks to me. Or how about any of the other mean things I said in that infamous post? I'm sure you can pick them out.

Fourth, I'm an introverted, hopeless romantic. Let's not mince words here, that really just means I'm shy and horney.

Fifth, I have escapist tendancies. You'll often find me daydreaming. Thing just seem so much better in your head don't they? My life sucks so bad I'd rather be dreaming out endless possibilities where I actually have good things happen to me. So instead of dealing with important things in my life, I'm in the fantasy world of wistful daydreams, books, and video games.

Sixth, I'm a slob. This is evident upon entering my room.

And finally, I'm just not worth the effort. The enigma of Bill is beyond the comprehension of some. My world view is a mash of philosophic and spiritual beliefs, bitter realizations, and lofty ideals brewed to make a creamy stout. Meaning: If I was a beer, I would be a dark brew, smooth and mysterious, creamy and distinguished, a hard flavor with an eminent aftertaste, enjoyed by the beer lover of the finest taste. Wait a minute... I must be thinking about Guiness. Forget the analogy with beer. I'm really probably a pale ale or something German like Hacker-Pschorr. But uh, well, I think I proved my point. I don't understand it either.

Welp, I suppose you'll really have to decide for yourself. I'm not really as bad as I say I am (I think? I hope?) but truly everyone has different opinions of me for their own reasons. I'm just having fun.