A lil' Decadence and Debauchery that is.
EDIT: Updated 11/9/05, see below.
Last night, John and Amanda got married. Mr. and Mrs. John Cayton... wow.
I had a great time, the ceremony was short and sweet, the reception was awesome. I'd say that the only thing wrong with the ceremony was that the DJ was supposed to continue to play Pennywise's "Bro Hymn" as everyone walked up the isle. After the first chorus, the idiot decided to play what he thought was appropriate--Nu-metal. I think nearly everyone could see the mistake, as a look of rage came to John's face. Thankfully, AJ was able to calm him down.
Immeadiatly after the ceremony the reception began. Many had gone right outside to smoke cigarettes. Others decided to graze the table filled with mozzarella sticks, ribs, and pigs in a blanket. I however, went straight for a cocktail.
Thus begins the binge.
After about four vodka tonics the bartenders begin to chide me. They say they'll be watching me. I'm thinking, "Please bitch, I haven't even gotten started yet." The whole group of us went outside for cigarettes and sips of cocktails. I had to do much explaining on the absence of my date. I simply told everyone that girls are crazy, I'm flying solo, and that booze is my date.
I ended up missing AJ's speech/toast because I went with Brett, Ek, and Knobs to get cigarettes and smoke. Upon returning and realizing this I slam my champagne and get another drink. Most of our group is going back and forth getting drinks and smoking cigs. At one point my mom comes over. I say to her, "Mom, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend," I raise a beer, "her name is alcohol. She never lets me down." My mom was not too happy about this.
The roast beef was awesome, the chicken was substandard. It was like they boiled some breasts and slathered it in some disgusting yellow sauce. Yuck. If only they put the roast beef gravy on my potatoes!
One of the bartenders was a Bitch. Not just a bitch, but a capital Bitch. Twice she complains to our friends that we aren't tipping her well. She had put it bluntly to my friends while I was in line behind them, within earshot. I thought it was incredibly rude for her to demand tips. We talk about how rude she is. "This is an open bar!" and "What a bitch!" were some of the remarks. As I am getting my last beer, she asks me the uncouth, discourteous, vulgar question.
Bill-"May I have a Coors Light please?"
Bitch-"Have you
tipped yet?" she turns to fetch my beer and places it on the bar.
Bill-"You know, if you're gonna be all
'boo-hoo' about it, you wont get very many tips" and I turned right around.
Grrrr! That gets me so angry! It's like when someone does something and then immediately says "You're welcome" with an attitude. It's like, "Damnit! give me a chance to say thank you bitch! You're
definatly not getting one now!"
Brett was really drunk. There was no way he was driving. John had told us that we would need to drink at least $18 worth of booze for them to get their money's worth for the open bar. I had not only exceeded my share but also rose to the challege of exceeding my absent date's $18 as well. I'll try and recall how much I drank (probably more but I forget anything else):
- 6-7 Vodka + Tonics
- 1 glass of shitty Merlot
- 5 beers
- 3 glasses of Spumante (which is actually the Italian Champagne that was served)
But that's just the wedding. I had countless beers upon returning home for the parentaly sanctioned after-party. Many of us could not believe how early it was. At just 6 o'clock it was dark and it felt like 2am. We had agreed upon a dress code for the party in the annex. Guests had to wear a tie, or had to have been earlier. Of course, uninvited guests
still appeared. I wouldn't have minded some of them but others I would rather not see and that's a different story.
EDIT: Knoblock was an idiot that night. But.... we all were. But Knobs moreso. He threw a CD across the room, shattering the window! The CD bounced to the groung unscathed. AJ punched Ryan in the face because someone dodged his fist. Megan slapped AJ in the face. Knoblock tried to throw water at AJ but he did some Matrix shit and I got all wet. Soaked, in fact. Let's see... I fell off the swingset. Will and Sullivan went to the bars so I can only imagine how drunk Will was by the end of the night. Ek never came out because he went home... to get laid... I guess.
My 13-hour binge was exhausting. Near the end of the night we could see extended alcohol consumption taking its toll. We were fucking sloppy. The antics were ridiculous. Everyone kept losing things and blaming people. I'm happy to report that I didn't puke, but because of such, I don't remember much.
Fuck New Year's resolutions.
